One Last Time
by becomeafan
Summary: One last time, I need to be the one who takes you home.


I do not own Bleach or the song "One Last Time" by Ariana Grande.

* * *

Slamming her beer bottle down on the table, Rukia sneaked a look behind her once more just to make sure she wasn't seeing things. _He's here. He's really here._

Her head was spinning and her judgment is clouded. Maybe it's not the greatest idea? _Tsk. Of course it isn't._ But, God, _he_ is right there, just a few feet away from her. She didn't notice she was staring at him until a hand waved in front of her dazed face.

"Yo, Rukia. You 'right?" Renji asked amusingly. His friend had too many to drink tonight, she would surely get hung-over tomorrow no doubt.

Rukia blinked and looked at Renji, "What? Oh, yeah yeah, fine," she replied distractedly and continued to look at _him_.

Curious, Renji scooted closer to her to see what she's looking at. _Or who rather._

"Damn," he muttered.

It's been almost two years since they last saw Ichigo. He left for South Korea after being endorsed by the university he's been working with to continue his research with the best doctors of that country. They hadn't heard much from him since. Well, aside from occasional news about how he's been doing brought about by his new girlfriend (an issue the group tries to avoid talking about since well... it's awkward).

Renji peered at his friend once more and frowned. He knew this would happen sooner or later. Ichigo wasn't a permanent resident in Korea and he was bound to come back to Japan. Two years seemed like a long time to forget and move on but in Rukia's case, two years is far too soon.

Sighing, he took a swig of his beer and nudged Rangiku, "Hey. You knew about this?"

The blonde raised her brow and asked, "Knew about what?"

The red head replied by tilting his drink towards Ichigo's direction. After seeing what he was asking about, she bit her lip. She may have knew about her long time friend coming back in the country but, in her defense, she didn't know he was coming to the club tonight! He rarely drinks!

"Uhm... sort of?" she said. Before Renji could scold her for not telling, she quickly explained, "You don't understand! Rukia can't be distracted right now. She has too much going on in her life and she won't be able to handle any drama right now!"

Renji's mouth dropped open. He couldn't believe this.

"Are ya seeing this right now?" he retorted, pointing at his right.

Sure enough, Rukia was still staring at Ichigo who was hanging by the bar and talking with some guys she didn't know. _Probably from University... or the hospital._

 _I was a liar_

 _I gave in to the fire_

 _I know I should've fought it_

 _At least I'm being honest_

 _Feel like a failure_

 _'Cause I know that I failed you_

 _I should've done you better_

 _'Cause you don't want a liar_

Two years ago, it felt like it was the right thing to do. It still is. She knew she made the right decision. He was asking for too much, and she wasn't ready. But somehow, deep inside her heart she also knew she shouldn't have let him go.

Hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do but what choice did she have? They ended badly. Up until now, the pain and the guilt is still there. When she learned that he had already moved on, the ache she felt was more severe than the last. She deserved it. At least that what she kept telling herself. It was all that she could tell herself. She wanted this. So suck it up. Besides, shouldn't she be happy that he found someone else?

Someone who isn't afraid to commit.

Someone who is more worthy of his love.

 _Cause that sure as hell isn't me._

She smiled bitterly.

Karma really is a bitch.

Fighting her dizziness, Rukia stood up and headed to the ladies room. She needs to cool off for a bit or she might do something stupid tonight like walk up to him and beg for him to come back to her.

She successfully made her way to the comfort room (albeit stumbling and falling a few times) and didn't notice Rangiku and Momo follow suit. They were worried she would break down and pass out (she's done it before, a few months after their break-up).

Rukia was surprised to see her two best friends retouching their make-up when she came out of the stall.

"Hey," she said walking towards an empty sink and re-applied her lipstick.

Capping back her mascara, Momo turned her head towards Rukia and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Mmhm.." Rukia replied.

Momo and Rangiku exchanged a look. The blonde then cleared her throat and clarified, "She meant with seeing Ichigo."

Rukia paused. Looking at her reflection right now, she didn't see a girl whose out tonight with her friends to have a fun time. No. She saw a pathetic girl yearning to be with him once again. _One last time._

Biting her lip, she turned to her friends and asked, "What if... what if I wanted to ask him to come over at my place tonight?"

Two pairs of widened eyes stared back at her in response. She knew it was absolutely ridiculous and low. She wants him. Badly. Seeing him again after such a long time struck something within her and she knew that one way or another, he will be coming home with her tonight. Let Karma punish her tomorrow.

"Are you serious?" Momo exclaimed. "No, of course not! Rukia, you're drunk! You're not thinking clearly! You're-" she was stopped by Rangiku placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Look," she started, sighing, "I know that you still feel something for him. We all do. But, Rukia he has a girlfriend. If he was still single, you know I would've pushed you to do that but that's not the case here. He has someone and... we don't want you to do something you would truly regret later on!"

Leaning against the sink, Rukia muttered, "Consider it as closure."

"It's still wrong," Momo stated, crossing her arms. She looked at Rukia with somber eyes, "Well it's up to him if he agrees with this but, I just want you to know what you're doing."

Releasing a soft laugh, Rangiku added, "Been there, done that." Momo rolled her eyes.

"Whatever helps you. We'll get you some of Shuhei's hungover cures in the afternoon."

 _And I know, and I know, and I know_

 _She gives you everything,_

 _But, boy, I couldn't give it to you_

 _And I know, and I know, and I know_

 _That you got everything,_

 _But I got nothing here without you_

Fighting her way through the crowd, she tried to talk herself out of this whole mess once more. But with their distance shortening with every step, the firmer her resolve becomes.

 _This is for closure. We need this. I need this._ she thought.

Keeping her eyes on him, she oozed her way by his side and started, "Hi."

 _I need him out my system._

Surprised, brown eyes turned to the familiar voice that quickly brought about an array of memories in his head. How long has it been? Two years?

Clearing his throat, he replied, "Hey. Long time."

"Yeah, didn't expect to see you here tonight," Rukia smiled softly.

"Just got back actually. My colleagues from the university dragged me here," Ichigo said before taking a swig of his beer. He then pulled on the collar of his shirt.

Rukia nodded. She could feel the tension between them. "So... how have you bee-"

"Look," Ichigo cut her off, "I- it's been a long night. I should go-"

"Can we talk for a bit? Just for a few minutes."

Ichigo paused. He should say no. Seeing her again made him feel dizzier than he already feels from the number of shots his friends made him take a while ago. Plus, this was too sudden. What can he say to her? A long time ago, he had a lot of things he wanted to tell her but now, he was speechless. He sighed. He should go home.

"Rukia, I-"

"Please? I'll treat you coffee down the street?" she pleaded, flashing him those unique lavender eyes that used to make him weak in the knees. _They still do._

He paused. A cup of coffee is harmless. Finish that immediately and then go home. Yeah.

"Sure."

 _So one last time_

 _I need to be the one who takes you home_

 _One more time_

 _I promise, after that, I'll let you go_

 _Baby, I don't care if you got her in your heart_

 _All I really care is you wake up in my arms_

 _One last time_

 _I need to be the one who takes you home_

The aroma of brewing coffee filled his senses right away after stepping inside the quaint cafe. Rukia took a seat by the corner near the floor-to-ceiling glass windows and gestured him to sit across from her.

After having their orders taken, an uncomfortable silence ensued between them. Rukia drank in the image of the man in front her. His hair, his beautiful eyes, his lips, and his nose. Everything about him is perfect. Her eyes slid down to his clasped hands on top of the coffee table. She remembered how warm they are, how they felt against her skin... how tightly he grips her hands down the bed while he makes love to her every night when they were together.

"How've you been?" She asked.

Glancing up at her, Ichigo replied, "Good. You?"

"Good."

Silence.

The waiter finally arrived with their steaming drinks and Ichigo quickly picked up his mug of black coffee. He needed to sober up. His mind is going places they shouldn't be in right now. Or ever.

"So, how's Orihime? Did she come back with you?"

Ichigo almost choked on his drink.

"No. She stayed back in Korea. Her training got extended 'til September," he managed to reply.

She nodded and hummed in response.

"How 'bout you? Seeing anyon-"

"I missed you," she cut him off.

He paused. He gently laid down the mug on the table and gazed at the steam from the coffee. Suddenly, the pain of her leaving resurfaced. With just three words, she managed to make him relive that moment that he had tried so hard to forget for years. She was his everything.

He sighed, "Rukia..."

"I fucked up. I know that. I hurt you a lot and it's something I regret doing every day."

Ichigo clenched his fist.

Rukia continued, "We didn't... I never meant for us to end like we did. Ichigo, I... I want to apologize."

He laughed bitterly, "Like how you did so many times before?"

She choked back a sob. Shaking her head, she reached across the table and hesitantly placed her hands over his.

"I know that saying sorry again won't be enough-"

"I never wanted apologies from you, Rukia," he said, removing his hands underneath her own. "I tried to understand where you were coming from. You weren't ready to be committed and I understood that. I never forced you into anything! I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you with or without a damn paper and you know that," he exclaimed. He needed to get some fresh air or he would explode. He prepared to stand but her soft voice stopped him from doing so.

"I got scared," Rukia whispered. Looking deeply into his eyes, she continued, "I don't deserve you."

Frustratingly, he turned his head and responded, "That's bullshit."

 _I don't deserve it_

 _I know I don't deserve it,_

 _But stay with me a minute_

 _I swear I'll make it worth it_

 _Can't you forgive me?_

 _At least just temporarily_

 _I know that this is my fault_

 _I should've been more careful_

"Do you love her?" She asked suddenly.

Running a hand through his hair, he looked out the window.

They have been together for almost a year now. Orihime provided him some room to grow his feelings out for Rukia. She listened to his drunken whines about his ex and comforted him afterwards. She made him feel different. With her, it was just a breath of fresh air.

"I do," he replied.

She stares at him.

He looks at her.

Silence.

Clearing her throat, she whispered, "Can you forgive me?"

Looking down, he fiddled on his cup and said, "I have."

"Funny how much your life can change with just a few words," Rukia started, "I haven't felt this relieved in a very long time."

Ichigo smiled softly in response. "it's getting late. I'll drive you home," he said.

"Thank you."

 _And I know, and I know, and I know_

 _She gives you everything,_

 _But, boy, I couldn't give it to you_

 _And I know, and I know, and I know_

 _That you got everything,_

 _But I got nothing here without you, baby_

Walking up the steps of her apartment, Rukia paused then turned to Ichigo, "Do you wanna come in for a minute?"

He didn't know what came over him to actually accept her invitation. He should be getting home. _I should just leave._

Turning around to tell her he was leaving, a pair of soft familiar lips touched his, rendering him from speaking.

Shocked from the kiss, he stumbled backwards and fell on the couch with her sitting on top of him. God, he forgot how good it was to kiss her.

 _No, this is wrong,_ he silently reprimanded himself.

But when hands started moving from his jaw down to the length of his broad chest, his resolve to leave was quickly crumbling to pieces.

While Ichigo was fighting a losing battle within himself, Rukia has completely given in to him. God, she missed him so much. The feeling of strong arms wrapped around her body, his hands caressing her sides and lower back, and his warmth were the things she craved for the most. _No other man can truly compare._

Slowly, she tried to coax his lips open with her tongue, taking her time to taste him. Her hand found its way up to his wild orange mane and grabbed hold of some soft locks, loving the way it felt against her skin.

How could she be so stupid to let him go? He's perfect! He was her best friend, her confidant, her wall. He understood her the most and he gave her more than she deserved. Orihime is really lucky to have him.

That unsolicited thought suddenly made her stop. It was like a bucket of ice cold water has been dumped over her. Why was she doing this? Have she already stooped so low?

Half-heartedly, she pushed back. Rukia didn't even notice him kissing her back and that his hand was on the back of her neck to firmly keep her in place.

Breathing heavily, she looked at him. His lips were swollen and his hair was a mess. She could feel his desire underneath her. He looked like a fucking masterpiece.

But no.

This can't happen.

 _We have to stop_.

As she moved to get off of him, she was surprised to feel a strong pair of calloused hands grab her thighs, preventing her from leaving.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice deep and husky.

"I-," she whispered, "I want you... so badly."

Her voice was shaking. She no longer gives a fuck if she bawls in front him. This is all her; the pain, love, yearning and regret, he will see all of them tonight. Screw her pride.

He wipes her tears with his thumb, "Me too."

"But, we can't," she sobbed.

He didn't reply. He tucked a piece of her hair in her ear then pulled her into his embrace.

 _So one last time_

 _I need to be the one who takes you home_

 _One more time_

 _I promise, after that I'll let you go_

 _Baby, I don't care if you got her in your heart_

 _All I really care is you wake up in my arms_

 _One last time_

 _I need to be the one who takes you home (la li he)_

Stroking her back, he asked, "You never answered my question."

Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she replied, "What question?"

"Are you seeing anyone?" his voice deeper than before.

Shaking her head she answered, "Not since we broke up."

Pushing herself up, she looked at his eyes, "I've tried dating. I've had some hook-ups. But," she sighed, "They're not you."

Leaning his head back on the couch, Ichigo closed his eyes and sighed. How did they manage to fuck everything up? Since they were kids, he knew deep in his heart that he wouldn't be with anyone else but Rukia. She was his past, present, and future. But somehow, things changed between them. He wouldn't lie. He did want to marry her. He wanted to have a family with her, to be the father of her children. He wanted to be there for her through all the hardships and happiness in her life. But Rukia thought differently. Her insecurity swallowed her whole. It got so bad it ruined their relationship.

 _So why did I let go?_

I know I should've fought it

At least I'm being honest (yeah)

But stay with me a minute

I swear I'll make it worth it, babe

'Cause I don't wanna be without you

"Rukia," he whispered, "You're driving me crazy."

This was the kind of love they wanted the most. Their kind of love was raw, consuming, and dangerous. There were no gray area in their relationship. Being with Rukia made him lose every bit of control he has. The split-second he caught eye of her gorgeous face in the bar, he was long gone. How could he have let her go?

Running a hand down his face to regain some composure, he asked, "What do you plan to do now?"

Biting her lip, Rukia slowly traced Ichigo's face with her fingers, memorizing every inch. He closed his eyes at her touch. Her hand then trailed down to his neck and collarbone where she felt him shiver under her touch.

Stop at his chest, she took his hand and said, "I just want to hold you tonight."

He stared at her for a moment before pulling her close and placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I want that too," he murmured.

 _(Oh)_

 _So one last time_

 _I need to be the one who takes you home (who takes you home, babe)_

 _One more time_

 _I promise, after that I'll let you go_

 _Baby, I don't care if you got her in your heart_

 _All I really care is you wake up in my arms (wake up in my arms)_

 _One last time_

 _I need to be the one who takes you home (yeah)_

As she laid in bed encased within his strong embrace, she thought back on the day they said goodbye. She knew deep in her heart that she would never love another like she did for Ichigo. But their love story had to end here, tonight.

Tomorrow morning, he would be gone. And she would have to face the reality of not being able to wake up in his arms again or falling asleep to his kisses.

He was the love her life.

And somehow, knowing that he felt the same for her was enough.

They may not have gotten their happy ending but, they were enough.

Their love was enough.

And somehow, that was everything.

 _One last time_

 _I need to be the one who takes you home_

* * *

Author's note: This fic was originally intended for HitsuHina but after reading the last chapter of Bleach, I felt that this would fit better for my beloved IchiRuki (yes I'm so bitter with that ending). This was written mostly in Rukia's point of view so watch out for Ichigo's one-shot. I'm planning on writing another tribute songfic for these two. To my fellow IchiRuki fans, my heart goes to you.

On a side note: check out my other songfics on my profile! Thank you everyone!


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